Sunday, August 31, 2008 5:47 PM

♥a few more hours till we know if its puasa..


amazing how time flies, im still on january mode haha. when i think of raya, as bad as it might sound i dont really think of the forgiveness or the money or the bajus. its mostly the food my family is going to make. good lord, thats all i look forward to huhu, a certified glutton.


right now? stuffing my face with cheetos and background sounds of lego star wars sighs. kids these days. i know i was a horror when it came to games back in the day but i love my books. all kids seems to do now is try to look grown up and spend almost half their life infront of the tv. im trying to be a kid myself because i never had the luxury of having a normal kid's life. tskkk.


speaking of books, im already done with 2 i just bought a few days back. now i dont know how to kill my time.


i need perspective, i need clarity, i need... time.

Saturday, August 30, 2008 9:54 AM

♥and i want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door..

finally a weekend with no commitments, hoora! a little r&r is definitely incheck this weekend to make up for almost a whole bloody month's worth of constant commitments.

ive got afternoon plans but ive yet to move my ass. it just seems so right to laze around..



.. and laze around i shall. :)


.. and listen to you breathing.

Thursday, August 28, 2008 8:08 PM

♥and the wonder of it all

freefall, what do you say :)?

that youre just..

Monday, August 25, 2008 8:13 PM

♥and when you think its over..
it creeps over you like a shadow..

an hour ago i just thought it might be an awesome day. an hour ago i was fine; more than fine i was sufficient content with everything. an hour ago i received that text. an hour ago; i pull away. an hour ago i broke someone without even analyzing everything else. and i didnt even know i could.


and it all happened in less than 5 minutes. thats all it takes. to break someone. 5 fucking minutes.


my neck is aching, im coughing up like a motherf, im agitated as hell and to top it all off i have 2 annoying mosquitos bite marks. what a lovely monday.


i dare do all that may become a man; who dares do more is none

Friday, August 22, 2008 10:17 PM

♥why does every moment have to be so hard

it seems like i just took a second to blink and the week is coming to an end.


another tgif to look forward to. not that i did anything great for the past 4 hours but my tummy is well fed and my fingers hurt from scales, bars and practicing sighs. ive been on a downloading frenzy lately as well, abusing the connection ive been getting. i managed to get trapt's new album which has been on repeat for god knows how long.


im at a point where nothing seems to register. i havent been paying much attention to anything, anyone lately. everything seems so mechanical. nothing seems to feel good anymore, doesnt have that oomph like it used to. is something missing or am i missing something?

you know the feeling you get? when you listen to a song and you just cant stop. i havent had that for anything in eons. everything just seems so.. black.



and when you cant even look at someone right in the eye because of the guilt. goddamn.



i may not make it through the night..

Sunday, August 17, 2008 8:16 PM

♥all the smiles you had to fake
and all the shit you had to take
just to lead us here again..

in the past 48 hours ive had less than 9 hours of sleep.


dont push me now. im tired, im cranky, im slipping. i thought i was but i actually am slipping, coyote ugly! now the only repercussion is to actually act like nothing. like it didnt bothered me, it all laid bare and for what? over a little upset? now dealing with it shouldnt be such a big deal now shouldnt it? sighs. who wouldve thunk it couldnt get any more complicated.


erasing in process..


now on to better things that actually make sense. ive got goooooooooooood upcoming plans that i hope will actually come into light and hopefully it goes well.. HEHE :) lets just say its such good news that makes the erasing a wee bit easier. last night was, different hehe, but it was just pretty entertaining to say the least.






oh and im burned :\

..i never have the things to say
to make it all just go away
to make it all just disappear

Tuesday, August 12, 2008 7:54 PM

♥cant wait to burst out TGIF. im in need of a quiet, lazy lazy lazy friday.

my mind's been pretty heavy lately but then again thank god for those little distractions and interruptions by some. its just easier, not dealing with those thoughts. i like the beaches, i like the crowd.


and im content, for now. i do wonder how long this is gona last. hopefully just a tiny bit longer than expected. that should be enough distractions for awhile.


the year passing by mighty fast, and somewhere along the year to end just yet. im not ready. its tooooooooooooo much to take in. i cant even sit and put my memories in place. its going way to fast for comfort. :( im still in search of that higher high, i thought i got that but it slipped right through. any takers?


my minds all over right now. wooooooosh, i still need that run..

Tuesday, August 05, 2008 9:38 PM

Monday, August 04, 2008 9:43 PM

♥baby shine me smile
smile all my worries away..

and they say i dont have any feelings hehe. i need a good night away from home. i need a well deserved break. i really need to evaluate and be me again. i feel so, out of character, so mechanical. i need to reach my runner's high again, its been almost 2 weeks i havent gotten that beautiful epiphany and i miss that.

impure thoughts, none of that at the moment. just going through everyday without thinking. its so mechanical and routine. it just depresses me abit though. i want to be that wondeRone again. sighs. a person with cause&effect to everything.

now its got me wondering..
could i still?

Friday, August 01, 2008 8:13 PM

♥




so i havent been little miss sunshine lately. no joyous rays of sun has been highlighting my pathway for sometime but yet im doing fine with just copious amounts of sarcasm. for the most part ive been plauged with some virus thats making me too vulnerable that i feel a little human which i dont likeee.



i ate medicine crap which is out of my nature but then again, the things you do for the people you care about and the line of work your in. you just gotta be well enough (to answer them back hehe).

its been 3 months already, amazing how time passes by esp. when your surrounded by awesome (although some questionable) people :). sometimes being there makes me feel like im in highschool all over again. the endless gossips, rumours, the whoswho, the idontlikeyoubutilllayanyouforthesakeofothers and whatnot. amazes me. 20years on and youd think everyone has grown up huhu.


i guess its bedrest for me now. medicine is finally kicking in.



im starting to breakout and you know what? it feels good, not to obscured by you anymore ;)