Thursday, October 30, 2008 8:51 PM

♥finally, there are signs of recovering from this nasty cold. the weather seems better nowadays.


after much procrastination its finallllllllllllllly done! confirmed for december babyyy. doesnt seem so far away. so thats all im looking forward to really. i cannot cannot cannot wait.

work is really taking a toll on me. im going out of mind literally. im really in need of a reality-check and a work free day. its impossible to go anywhere without bumping into someone that you dont want to be reminded of that awful exhausting day. haiya.

twas nice to have someone to relate to again. no pretenses, no bullshit and especially a friend there. i miss that, being real again.

kings of leon, robin thicke, the stills, trapt now how can you wrong with those? :) i think im in need of a long drive with those mention and more andd good company. now anyone up for it? (inclusive of me venting out)


.. when we freefall and never look back

Monday, October 27, 2008 8:25 PM

♥when we collide and stillness filled our air..

feeeling empty.


the kind of empty that you just feel like sulking. brooding all day might get me in trouble but just cant seem to shake off this feeling for some reason. maybe its the monday blues, or maybe bcos im still under the weather and i need something to dwell on.



been avoiding so many places just because i cant bring myself to walk around so much hehe. i rather be sleeping or even when im forced out, sleeping at their place huhu. turning into quite hungry sleeper. guess im finally catching up on all those sleepness nights for the past months. i dont know if it shows but im enjoying every snooze i get. i hope this last longer than expected, knowing me.. :p






..was that all i was to you?

Saturday, October 25, 2008 8:45 AM

♥was it all that easy?


things are looking a little dull here..







caught at work;



might as well.



things are looking alright. completely overwhelm with work which is seriously taking a toll on me, but thanks to that unpredictable stress reliever i think ill go over the brink.

being under the weather with a mountain of work. really unavoidable. thank god its the weekend with a free saturdayyy


and now on the road to recovery.. in more ways than one :)



to just put aside your feelings?

Sunday, October 19, 2008 5:47 PM

♥indiscretion.
some just dont have that in them anymore.


late nights and that occasional oomph. it seems easier now, where i dont necessarily have to feel so bad anymore. theres no second thoughts to hold me back, plus with sweet words and a laughter like no other, who could honestly resist? i love this company even if its not the most sanest ones at times, makes me feel unvollendete at times, satisfying ironically! great to know i can cross boundaries, even if it means completely losing myself at times.


an honest to god killer smile found me. who woulda thunk it huhu


i thought those darken skies would be a cursed but its starting to get better, with my unpredictable incentive :D. i need a breather now plus i got back tomy personal comfort zone so its allllllllllllllllll gooood.

andddd
happy bustday to you love. i miss you. hope this day went well, in more ways than one :D


despite all this im actually landing with both feet on the ground.. with ease.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008 6:53 AM

♥september ends, tragedy october and november rains. not a good end for the year end isnt it. funny how this turns literally true, well for me anyway.

havent been of sound mind lately. just busy searching for distractions. distractions are hard lately, everyone seems so busy. somehow rather feels like i lost something, the ironic thing is i lost something i wasnt looking for. huhhhh. theres a huge gap and feels so.. empty.

soul-searching again and lets see what i come back with..

Sunday, October 12, 2008 9:15 AM

♥im just trying to take it all in without feeling too mixed up.


i got a quiet saturday to reflect on. its been awhile since i actually had a night off to reflect on my thoughts. well that and trying to entertain my grandma while watching some malay movie. and what a movie it was keke. never thought a malay movie would keep me curious for more, than again it took me a minute longer to understand what the characters were saying than other people. reactions suppose to be on cue turned seconds longer than expected.


i need to take a breather, actually i just need that runner's high..

Saturday, October 11, 2008 8:15 PM

♥its alright its ok
i think god can explain

awesome night.


i thoughtd id be zoned out considering the early evening but i had an extremely late dinner with excellent company. ended up talking till shop was closing. took a very long drive for 2 hours straight and just listening to songs on our ipods.


distractions are great but with additional company, it just gets better. i got a broader range of music now. plus im feeling platinum tonight again.


i never thought music at early dawn while cruising down the highway could get any better, but i was proven oh so wrong. now theres definitely new additions to my already growing collection of songs.


i believe im the same
i get carried away

2:02 AM

♥awesome!


details later..

Wednesday, October 08, 2008 8:14 PM

♥my 2ooth post..



how ironic that i actually have something meaningful to commemorate this 200th post. which also brings me to this.. almost 3 years and im only reaching my 2ooth. which can only mean either one, im either really lazy or i actually have a life. haha pick your poison.


sidetracked for awhile; raya has been surprisingly good. im happy i didnt have to fake it :) it was seemingly nice and i met a couple of nice chaps to go along which was pretty aweeeesome.
sidetracked done.


ive come to realisation during puasa that i shouldnt defy myself for anyone. hell, ive done some pretty unthinkable stuff but to defy myself. it just isnt worth it. ive changed yes, rules have been broken yes but my principles stay true and im kinda proud of that. i can finally breathe properly without a heavy thought.


.. i can finally be that clear cut wonderone. start anew afresh and most importantly aliveee. i dont have to look over my shoulder constantly, shudder at any impending thoughts of people around me, i can walk without a care :). its like a hugh wave of relief has spread over me, as much as it actually hurts, i think im going to be alright *watch this space for future clarification*


im not one to be hurt easily but after this long who wouldnt be right? im not even one to open up and bare my emotions but here i am, slowly and confusingly spilling my guts so i dont have to crawl into bed and ponder. the whatifs and couldbes are over. the right now is back upon and im ready to brace it.

like he once said, its not the end of the book, its just the prologue :)


give me all i never knew..
give me something to hold on to..



realisation and clarity is still in question, we'll see how that goes soon enough