Wednesday, October 08, 2008 8:14 PM

♥my 2ooth post..



how ironic that i actually have something meaningful to commemorate this 200th post. which also brings me to this.. almost 3 years and im only reaching my 2ooth. which can only mean either one, im either really lazy or i actually have a life. haha pick your poison.


sidetracked for awhile; raya has been surprisingly good. im happy i didnt have to fake it :) it was seemingly nice and i met a couple of nice chaps to go along which was pretty aweeeesome.
sidetracked done.


ive come to realisation during puasa that i shouldnt defy myself for anyone. hell, ive done some pretty unthinkable stuff but to defy myself. it just isnt worth it. ive changed yes, rules have been broken yes but my principles stay true and im kinda proud of that. i can finally breathe properly without a heavy thought.


.. i can finally be that clear cut wonderone. start anew afresh and most importantly aliveee. i dont have to look over my shoulder constantly, shudder at any impending thoughts of people around me, i can walk without a care :). its like a hugh wave of relief has spread over me, as much as it actually hurts, i think im going to be alright *watch this space for future clarification*


im not one to be hurt easily but after this long who wouldnt be right? im not even one to open up and bare my emotions but here i am, slowly and confusingly spilling my guts so i dont have to crawl into bed and ponder. the whatifs and couldbes are over. the right now is back upon and im ready to brace it.

like he once said, its not the end of the book, its just the prologue :)


give me all i never knew..
give me something to hold on to..



realisation and clarity is still in question, we'll see how that goes soon enough