Sunday, November 30, 2008 11:00 AM

♥funny how a look can bring you down.


that lingering feeling when you just feel a tad bit insignificant.. ive been bumping into people i really really rather not even bother to look at. amazing how it can lose your appetite or just spoils your evening and yet again random fridays have made it so much better, well now its moved to random anyday really ;) .

exactly 6 more days and i dont have to bother with life. i can actually put a pause to something for once. 23 days of sweet sweet freedom.



no strings attached :D

Thursday, November 27, 2008 9:06 PM

♥i am wiped out. this week has definitely been the craziest. so many movies, so little time but im always with great company. especially to those that made really ROFL haha. and to think i thought it was just a term.





can i keep you? :)

Sunday, November 23, 2008 10:03 PM

♥blisssssssssssssssssssssssssssss



for yellow cars :D

Friday, November 21, 2008 9:01 PM

♥its the weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekend




weeeeeeeee a whole 2 days to try and R&R but i brought my work home with me? how also that? mmmm but at least i have david cook's new album. awesome ;)




Is the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my promise that you'll never see me cry

Tuesday, November 18, 2008 9:31 PM

♥



midnight shots and heavy heavy artillery. putting on a brave face to the point where no one knows its a mask anymore.

on a ligther note; abusing the internet and downloaded hinder's new album. theres some pretty decent songs but its more or less like their previous album although it leans more towards the 80s this time. funny, who woulda thunk a poprock group could go 80s.

once again its time for that umppphhhhhhhhhhh distractions :)

Thursday, November 13, 2008 8:10 PM

♥i received this whilst working hard in the morning..


mind you, i forgot to put on office mode. so imagine the look on my collegaue faces when my message tone was blaring out, but all those incredilous looks didnt matter, only the content of that random message..


do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not, remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for..


now that was a nice wakeup call. i spent the day working with a nice permanent smile on my face (oh alright with the occasional gundus, fcuk, and other minor profanity but this was all with a smile :P). it really left a mark on me. well obviously i did ponder on that pharse almost the whole day. it left a mighty fine impression on me today.

plus last night was awesome too, i slave so much at work and was rewarded finely with greattt company throughout the night. releasing tensions, frustration and whatever ions there was couldnt be better. it was nice to be remembered by and old friend again and the wonderful part was, there was no favour asked, no double standards, no taboos, no ohimustkeepsomethingsquietastonotoffendtheother party. it was just a nice session of catching up and enjoying one another. plus, the bonus of learning how many other gundus are disrupting other peoples life.


maybe there is humanity after all :)

right now, in this moment im just glad

Monday, November 10, 2008 9:44 PM

♥so it goes against the grain, guess i was just a tad bit frustrated and vented out a little more than i should. than again no regrets :p.


my teeth hurts, im suffering from a severe headache, and i have work to do.



like i said it goes against the grain. sighs

Sunday, November 09, 2008 8:58 PM

♥ive been too deep in thought lately. more so than ever. it doesnt help when it seems your not paying attention at all to any conversation or anyone for that matter


it doesnt seem right that im sidetracking everything just because of the state im in. i took countless distractions to occupy my time; to not be able to feel numb. i worked so hard to not to remember; to not feel; to not think. dear god, ive never workedso hard in my life and yet its still there. lingering as if its waiting for me in the darkness.


the distractions doesnt seem to work anymore. the late nights; the unpredictable fridays; the random dropbys; it just doesnt seem to click anymore. what the fcuk. and now im losing sleep over
everything doesnt seem to be enough. im slowly losing my mind. ive never been so ragged, highstrung and worst of all, zoneout. it finally dawned on me. im not ok, and i wont be anytime soon. ive push so many oppurtunities away, i hide from everything and im just deeply disappointed. not becauseof the situation; not because of the outcome. its because i actually felt something. i actually cared enough to feel something. which seem impossible to me but i did.


theres nothing to sedate this. its like a rite of passage, you have to get through it to be able to move on to better things. i guess i never thought itd be this hard. this feelings..


im trying my hardest; and now i just stopped to feel this entire numbness. maybe just maybe when it hits, ill come to the sudden realization; ill bury all this. and never have to look back..
.. not because i have to but just because i can.





years doesnt seem to compare with the connection.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 8:26 PM

♥almost there; whos on the otherside now?

i remember i had a post dedicated to bastards who just did open burning. ironically it went away after my post and uh a few complaints made but now its back again. damnnnnnnnn it.


i miss the good air. right before you can enjoy the taste of it, this huge stink of horrid smoke is surrounding you. now tell me, how can we push pass that? i ALMOST ALMOST had it, thanks to the wonderful air around me, i had to stop. thank you, for that but glad to know; it was in my grasp. i still can. despite the air; it was nice to be around my old haunting grounds. its nice to know that some things dont change. if pathways could talk mmm..


im dont with the hardest part of the month; now its just clearing up before i hooray hooray in a month. oh the smell of desperation mixed with freedom is so close. i cannot wait to get back to the motherland followed by incentives.


awesome scenery; great music; my steps burning rubber on my haunting pathways.
now this is up to par with my late night fridays. can this get any better?

euphoria! ;)


now lets see how long its going to take.

the only difference was that you were using me; in a different way that i was using you

Sunday, November 02, 2008 7:53 PM

♥youd think id be dead on my feet after the afternoon i had but im still up and about and waiting for a text.

but i literally killed myself today. omfg, who woulda thought pushing myself would lead to me having a slightly near asthma attack AND wanting to just SIT. jungletracking really shows im out of shape. how could i not be? almost 3 friggin months of not doing anything especially a big contribution from raya.

i never realised i was physically out of shape until TODAY. UPSET SIA. feeling so out of it now when i worked so hard to get back THAT stamina. worse part was i didnt get my runners high at all. boooo! i took 2 rounds of jogging and just felt dead after that. i miss that high, its the only good thing ive left right now. its so out of my grasp right now, i have to work to get it back again. aiyo. huffing and puffing and having to slow down the damn heart rate what with looking and NEVER ENDING steps just feels wrong man. and to think i use to enjoy that.

i do feel way better after that horrid workout but just doesnt seem right like it did before. i wonder..

.. but thank god for my random late night fridays, its easier to vent out with someone rather than none at all. november just started and im already dreading it. doesnt seem right to end '08 without a bang. watch me :D